Who Is That Guy?

Wow! What a difference a year and a few months can make. I re-read my old posts in this blog and I ask myself, "Who is that guy?" Did I actually write those things? The relevant question is, where is that guy today? I am still here...at least my body is. I look the same, albeit a few pounds heavier but it's me, so what's the problem? Why am I still here if things are so bad? What or Who is keeping me here plugging along?

Ya know, there was a time in my life when ending my life was a viable option. I just felt like "ending it all" and taking my chances with God was the best I could hope for. At some point I knew I had to make a decision because just "thinking about THAT all the time" was driving me crazy. So, I held on to the smallest pieces of God's Word that I could fit into my spiritual pocket, like 1Cor.2:9-16 ("Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him") and I kept going to sleep at night and waking up in the morning. I continued to pay my bills and eat and I continued to talk to whoever was around to listen. I forced myself to remember all the times in my past that God came through for me. I determined to write a memoir called, "Little Did I know", where I would document from my birth to the present those times when it was God and no one else who picked me up. I made a commitment to God and myself that I wanted to see "how the story ends". And so, I'm still here...alive and kicking...well, not so much kicking these days as much as crawling but I'm still here. My claim is to love the Lord and if that is true then I can claim that scripture, 1Cor.2:9, for my own. I can trust it, put my confidence in it, lean on it and depend on it. I still want to see how the story ends.

I will be catching up the past year in my upcoming blog entries. It is my desire to make Deut.8:2-3 my own as well, "...remember all the way the Lord has led me..."
The bottom-line is that I need God...I need Him real bad. If God's Word is true and I believe It is then I can make James 4:8 mine also, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you". I'm drawing...I'm drawing...